Recently, over winter break, my daughter and I spent an entire day watching old musicals. We kick-started the marathon with Doris Day in "The Pajama Game," followed by Gene Kelly in "An American in Paris," and ended with the 1962 adaptation of "The Music Man." For me, this was my idea of a perfect day to relax and crochet an afghan, while she focused on a 5D diamond painting. She outwardly cringed at the out-dated music, singing styles, and choreography, but my heart soared at the simple story lines, musical talent, and orchestra scores.
You see, all my life I have been drawn to classic movies, especially musicals through the decades. As a child, I would watch the same movie on repeat until my dad returned it to the local public library. He would bring home another one, and this same scenario would occur on repeat until I went off to college. I realized this was not typical behavior, and so I restricted myself from indulging in watching musicals regularly. Why? Because it made me feel happy, but not in a typical "I enjoy this" kind of way. Allow me to elaborate.
Musicals actually cause a physical response in my body like nothing else. My brain becomes very active, my eyes shine and dart back and forth as I mentally imagine the scores of music played by the orchestra. Sometimes I wave my arms as if I were the conductor. When the actors sing, I analyze their songs. I hear patterns in their phrases, sing certain intervals repetitively, guess the key the score was written in, determine the key signature, and so on. I may play notes on the keyboard nearby to check pitch accuracy, and I may pause the movie to practice singing using specific breathing and/or vocal techniques. When I let go of my inhibitions and am my authentic self without any regard to how others might perceive me acting in this manner, I am filled with exhilaration.
Until eleven months ago, I thought I was weird (side bar: I am weird!) and should avoid being weird at all costs. It wasn't professional and wasn't something an adult my age should engage in, or so I thought. Then I learned something that shifted my perspective: music is one of my special interests.
"...incorporating special interests into therapies and daily life can enhance social skills and other functions, as well as reduce anxiety." - Emily Singer
It should be noted that special interests are more than hobbies. They are obsessions, topics or activities that are become a sole focus. These special interests can last a lifetime or shorter amounts of time, such as months or weeks. Yet, they consume the individual's thoughts, energy, and time in a way that neurotypicals don't share and generally don't understand. When asked questions about my special interests, I can start rambling endlessly, losing track of time and forgetting to read social cues that I'm oversharing and probably should stop.
Now that I know my special interests are ingrained in my DNA and aren't going anywhere, I can finally embrace my "weirdness." I now know that I'm not broken inside. In fact, I was born this way, and it pleases God. So this year, my New Year's resolution is to tap into the "old me" and enjoy the gift that He has given me.
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it." - Psalm 139:12-14
Do you have a special interest that seems to take over all rational thinking and perhaps sucks you into a wormhole void of time and space? Does it keep you up at night or distract you at work? As high-functioning adults, possibly with careers and families, we can learn to incorporate our special interests into our daily lives while maintaining balance. It can seem hard, but it can be done. Come with me on this journey and learn together.
Lord, I thank you for creating all of us in Your image and knitting us together in our mother's wombs. We rejoice that You made us wonderfully complex and unique from everyone else. I pray the reader here today will be encouraged and know that they were created to worship You with their special interests. May they please You in every way. Amen.
Since embracing my special interests, specifically music, I have felt more free to break out in random songs, info dump, engage students better, and overall feel happier! How are you doing with your special interest? Have you shared it with a family member or close friend? Are you learning to use it to "find your tribe"? Do you need help navigating this? Please contact me and let me know. I'd love to hear from you!
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